Okay, I've learned from these sites that they aren't all created equally--future post; however, what I want to talk about today is FIRST IMPRESSIONS.
Consider your main profile picture your "first impression."
This vacuous, online dating world, feels like a short story that isn't grounded or rooted in a place, so as I tell students with whom I'm trying to improve their writing, "Give me a location. We need walls, a floor, a setting." Ground your story.
In the same way, online dating needs a real-world equivalent.
I can honestly say I've never "bar hopped" to try to meet someone--teenage mom problems--but I want my story to have a setting, so this is what I'm thinking....
If this Profile Picture (see picture below) walked into a bar, would I talk to him? The answer is NO, I'd call the cops or ask the bouncer to handle. WHY would someone think this is okay???? I'm guessing he wants a hookup.
Ladies, this is the pic where I had to decide "Meet Me" or not. If I checked "yes" then I could read more about this person, but again, grounding this in a bar-like, public setting.. This man may be the nicest person. He may be lovely, and I'm not even concerned about his body style. A man with a six-pack-of-abs isn't on my non-negotiable list at all.
My concern is that his prospect's first picture is a shallow, bathroom selfie!
If the dating site was for a nudist colony or someone who was in to "sauna dates," then maybe I would get it.
So, if a Profile Pic walked into a bar...
- Guys wearing hats and sunglasses may get a nod, but I'd want to see their eyes while talking to them.
- Guys with dogs? I'm saying, "hello!" I don't care if YOU are ugly. You have a dog who loves you, and you love your dog enough to bring him/her to a public place.
- Guys wearing camo? Absolutely.
- Guys wearing camo and bringing their dead fish, string of ducks or dear carcass into the bar? Ick.
- Guys wearing a uniform--I'm a sucker for a uniform--sure! I'll talk to you.
- Guys bringing a guitar? YES!
- Muscle shirt guys? Maybe. Depends on the bar.
- Heavily tatted? Absolutely. I don't care, and I actually like the stories tattoos tell--it reminds me of church stained glass, which was used to share The Gospel to people could not read.
- But...guys wearing a towel or underwear walking into a bar? TOO INTIMATE! KINDA CREEPY. Save it for your house, with your woman AFTER you know her, and she says "yes."
If the bar scene doesn't do it for you, then substitute, "If my profile picture walked into a job interview..." or "If my profile picture walked into a grocery store..." See where I'm going? Ewww.
Guys you are supposed to put your best out there. Sadly, semi-naked selfies aren't the best. Ladies, don't settle for some underwear or a towel. Say yes to WELL-DRESSED MEN! Or women if that floats your boat.
Until next time. Looking for my Permanent Mr. Wonderful.