This might sound very strange but honestly I 24F was talking to this guy 29M for weeks, we called and flirted a lot with eachother. Now we finally met and it started off reasonable.
Then the red flags/ strange situations came in:
- we couldn't go to his place because his housemate would tell his ex that he was on a date and he didn't want the drama. Also that she comes there every week (they broke up 4 months ago after 7 years)
- was constantly on his phone and in deep thoughts about work and when the server came (we were having drinks) he put his finger up she needed to be quiet and wait.
- a friend of his came by and started talking Greek with him for the next 5 minutes while I awkwardly sat there (we are dutch and in the Netherlands)
- he just walked me to the station because he needed to work and work was calling (he's a scientist in neuroscience) 1 hour after we first met up.
Overall it was a big nope for me. This funny attentive sweet sexy guy I met online and talked to every day just disappeared. He said it himself he was out of it because of work but no.
Now the part where I feel great haha. I went out on my first date this year. I gave it a good shot and showed interest and stayed enthousiastic through all of this. I talked to him afterwards just honestly pointing out all of these things and he said yeah you are totally right. I'm sorry if my situation is a no go for you etc.
I spoke the truth to him and myself and now I'm just happy because I was honest with myself and with him.
So the advice to this sub would be, just be honest with yourself and towards others. That way you won't be feeling bad even with a weird situation like this!
TL;DR if you stay honest with yourself and others the bad feeling of dissaportment won't be as bad or even won't be there at all.