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I matched with a girl on Hinge who seemed my (specific) type in terms of interests and looks. I was excited.

Two weekends ago, we went for a 1st date: a 2.5-hour walk around town. (She’s new in town and doesn’t know anyone or the places, so she seemed happy to have a guide.) I thought it went very well. That evening, she initiated texting to say she had a good time. That week, she initiated more texting about random stuff, and also initiated and planned a 2nd date the upcoming weekend. She was clearly interested!

On Date 2, over lunch, we nerded out about dorky shared interests. After 1.5 hours at lunch, she went to get the check. I asked if she wanted to go for a walk. She said she didn’t have a ton of time, but would be ok with walking for a bit. So rather than a longer nature walk I’d been considering, we walked back into town. When passing my place, she mentioned desserts, so I asked if she wanted to come inside and bake cookies. She said yes.

After 40 mins of chatting and eating cookies, I initiated making out. We got a bit more physical, and she gave signs of being into it, but then said she should probably get running soon. We stared into each other’s eyes for a few seconds, and then I initiated making out again. Things got more physical. I started to slowly feel up her top. She said she was totally fine taking off her top but wanted to take things slow, as she takes time to warm up to people. I smiled and said this was of course 100% fine. So now she’s laying on top of me topless, and we’re furiously dry humping. She’s smiling and seems extremely into it, telling me she liked it when I did certain things.

After 10 mins of this (including me rubbing her pants), I ask if she’d be comfortable giving me a hand job. She seemed a bit surprised, but quickly said, “sure” (granted, not super enthusiastically). We went to my bedroom, laid down, and she began giving me a hand job. She asked if I’d play with her breasts, to which I enthusiastically said yes. After a few minutes, there was a lull, and she said, “Well, I hate to stop in the middle of things, but I really do have a schedule I’m trying to keep, so I’m gonna go.” At the door, she asked a fun question about my books. I answered and said I had a great time, and we should do it again. She didn’t affirmatively respond.

A couple of hours later, I texted her a meme, and got a lukewarm response. The next day, I texted to say I was sorry if it seemed like I was pressuring to stay at my place, and that was not my intention at all, and I just got excited in the moment and apologized for keeping her from her work. I mentioned wanting to do a few very-not-sexual and far-from-my-home activities like hiking. She responded to thank me for the thoughtful text, but that she wasn’t interested in another date as she “didn’t think we were a good match.” I said I was sorry to hear that and asked if I did or said anything wrong and to let me know if she changed her mind and wished her well. No response.

I’m extremely sad. I’ve been on many dates and rarely come across someone I’m so excited about, who was also interested in me. My guess is that she in fact wasn’t super comfortable with going to my bedroom and maybe thinks I was primarily interested in her just for sex. Did I move too fast? Is there any way to salvage this?

tl;dr: Great first two dates. At the end of the 2nd date, I possibly moved too fast physically. She expressed some mild hesitations about needing to run and wanting to take things slow, but, after slow escalation, seemed pretty into it. But now she doesn’t want to see me again.